Sunday, August 24, 2008

Blade: Trinity

Rounding out the trilogy of Marvel's favorite vampire hunter, Blade: Trinity makes sure to go out with a bang. Wesley Snipes once again takes the point as Blade, a half-vampire vampire hunter bent on revenge for the blood-suckers' attack on his mother that took her life (sort of) and left him as the "Daywalker". Blade is one of the lesser-known but more bad ass characters from the Marvel Universe and fought Dracula and a slew of demons in his comic book run. In the 90's he returned as part of the Nightstalkers, a three-man vampire hunting crew that inspired parts of this film. In the movie version, the Nightstalkers are a larger network of sleeper cells working together, with the focus of the movie being on Hollywood-ized versions of the comic trio. Ryan Reynolds plays Hannibal King, the former vampire looking to stake as many hearts as he breaks (that's a lil gift for all my lady readers) and Jessica Biel takes the role of Abigail Whistler, the daughter of Blade's mentor and arms supplier who finally maybe dies for real the third time around. This time around, Blade and his compatriots have to fight the O.G. (that's "original gangstah" for my honkey friends) Dracula... patriarch to the entire vampire species. Parker Posey, HHH and a few folks I don't know find him and bring him back to kill Blade and evolve their people to the status of "day walker" as well. Lots of action... lots of blood... What more do you want?

Running Time: 113 minutes
Original Release: 2004

This is the time on Sprockets when we rate...
(Need a rating system reminder?)
Death - $2
It could be argued that killing vampires doesn't count since they are the "undead" but friggin hell, they are dropping like flies in this piece. If you blink you might miss a suck-head turning to ash and you'll be hard pressed to find it happen the same way twice. Add to that the body count of secondary characters and extras, and that's some might fine death!

Hardee-Har-Har - $2

Parker Posey and Ryan Reynolds... did you honestly think you would ever see these two together in a film? Each with a complete mastery of their own unique comedic styles, they lead the humor of the film with a fierce combination of one-liners, potty mouths and subtle innuendos. The reactions of all the other characters to the borderline annoying personalities of these two only makes the jokes funnier. You find yourself just waiting for Blade to punch, shoot or stab Hannibal King in order to shut him up. Oh, and there is a vampire Pomeranian named Pacman.

Hello Ladies - $2
Jessica Biel... $1. Jessica Biel in the shower... $2. What, were you expecting more explanation? Fine... there is some other eye candy here and there, but if you need that in addition to J.B. then you may not like chicks. It's a possibility.

Pump up the Jams - $2
Sometimes solid action and the use of vampires just isn't enough. And that is exactly why they made phenomenal use of a supporting soundtrack for Blade: Trinity. I believe RZA from the Wu-Tang Clan was heavily involved in the composition of select tracks and the inclusion of others and his musical genius is well represented in both. Background music amplifies the "vampire chic" world that is shown in the films, and the director took advantage of the iPod buds in Biel's ears to play the intense drum-and-bass tracks that fit well with the style of the fight scenes.

Action and Ass-Kickery - $2
Damn... just damn. Snipes, Biel and Reynolds are cracking skulls left and right. Even more, you have Triple H and Dominic Purcell both f-ing some folks up the way big guys can. We are treated to sword fights, gun fights, hand-to-hand combat and a nifty car chase scene that keeps the eyes forward and the blood pumping from start to finish.
Total Rating: $10

Well, here you are folks... my first perfect review... Blade: Trinity got the full $10! I hope this doesn't ruffle any feathers, and please know that I do NOT just hand these ratings out. I had a difficult time picking which categories to use for this review and looking back, even if I had gone with a couple of the others I was considering I would STILL have had $2 across the board. If you haven't seen this movie, then I ask that you at least give it a try before you make up your mind. Watching the first two Blade films will help a little in understanding the character, but is not necessary in order to follow and enjoy Blade: Trinity. As always, feel free to leave me a comment with your thoughts!

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