Monday, January 19, 2009


Mark Wahlberg once again shows the depth and range of his acting ability in 2007's Shooter - a drama (I guess) about Bob Lee Swagger, a U.S. military sniper who gets brought out of retirement in order to help the government prevent an assassination attempt on the president. Or so he thought! The painfully obvious twist is that he's been set up by quasi-secret goverment/military folks to take the fall for the assassination attempt on the President, which is actually a successful assassination on the true target - a visiting politician from some other country. Bob Lee (what a stupid name) manages to escape and finds himself in a game of cat and mouse as they try to track him down and he tries to seek revenge. Eventually gaining the trust and help of his ex-partner's widow and a young agent who doesn't trust the reports of his superiors, Swagger is able to make his move. Now, why don't we make our move on to the ratings...

Original Release: 2007
Running Time: 124 minutes
Death - $1
The movie is called "Shooter", and I'm pretty sure I've seen just as much life ended in a Veggie Tales feature. Sure, the bad guys bite it here and there, but none of it is drastically more than you would get from an episode of The A-Team. It is in there though, so I can't justifiably give nothing here.

Acting - $0
It's a Mark Wahlberg film with Danny "I'm getting too old for this" Glover as the primary antagonist. I refuse to write any more details than that.

Repeat Play - $1
I can't explain why, but Shooter keeps finding its way back into the DVD player. I openly admit my penchant for less-than-quality movies, but I can't explain this one at all.

Action and Ass-Kickery - $1
Again, it's there but not in an impressive manner at all. A couple scenes in particular are what kept this from getting a zero, but I won't bother going into detail on them here.

Romantics - $0
Mark Wahlberg should never have a romantic interest in any of his films. It is just incredibly awkward to watch for some reason. It looks so forced and fake... like he took this girl to the prom just to make his ex-girlfriend jealous or something. (Editors Note - Bill had a lovely time at both of his proms and attended with the young ladies he was dating at each given time.) The only way to make a Wahlberg on-screen romance worse is to add some awkward plot element... like, perhaps that he is making a move on the widow of his deceased sniper partner. Come on man... some things are just off limits.
Total Rating: $3

I have to say that I didn't expect the rating to be this low when I started this review. I knew it wouldn't fall in the $7-8 range where a lot of these reviews seem to have landed, but I didn't think it would be this far low. Oh well... the numbers don't lie.

Also... you knew I was kidding with that "depth and range" comment at the very start, right? OK... good. If not, I would have been insulted. I will admit that I enjoy Marky-Mark Movie-Moves but I will also be the first one to tell you that he's not God's gift to cinema. He's not as bad as Keanaue, but... well... let's just say he's not as bad as Keanaue.

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