Shoot 'Em Up

Shoot 'Em Up stars Clive Owen as a mysterious stranger with a strict moral code that finds himself mixed up in - and unwilling to step back from - a strange scenario involving hit men, political officials and infants they want dead. Initially stepping in to help out a pregnant woman being chased by a typical bad-guy stooge, Owen's character "Smith" helps her deliver her child under gunfire and then takes the baby into his own custody after she takes a bullet to the dome. A crew of hitmen don't stop there however, as Paul Giamatti (I had to copy and paste that because I can never spell or pronounce his name right) leads them after Smith and the lactating prostitute he enlists to help care for the child. This milky maiden is played by super-hotty Monica Belucci who I feel is the only reason to watch the Matrix sequels. I digress... The plot thickens and the bodies pile up in this action-packed cat and mouse adventure. That's pretty much all there is to say about that. So, without further rambling, let us proceed to the ratings...

Original Release: 2007
Running Time: 86 minutes
(Shoot on over to the ratings system for a refresher.)
Death - $2
There are two - count 'em TWO - incidences of death by carrot in Shoot 'Em Up. That is on top of the obvious death by gun and the less than obvious death by helicopter. The moral of the story children is that there are a lot of bodies dropping here, and that's what make the world go around. OK... not really, but it makes for a fun flick.

Hardee-Har-Har - $2
I find that more and more these days, comedy is added to primarily-action films. Look at the Die Hard series as an example. In the midst of throwing people out of towers or launching cars at helicopters (I'm trying to set a record for the number of helicopter references in one post) John McClain tormented his adversaries with one liners and witty jabs. Well the humor is a two-way street in Shoot 'Em Up as the main protagonist and antagonist throw insults and bullets at each other while also dry-hamming (I just made that up) with the respective cohorts. Clive Owen and Paul Giavi... Giovan... Paul both deliver a unique style of "frustration" humor as they continue to get buggered with the other's unending interference.

Acting - $1
You get what you would expect from all the players here... and I expected quality. Keep in mind the nature of this movie did not ask anyone to truly flex their acting muscles or stretch their thespian wings, but everyone delivered the characters they needed to, and did so in a somewhat believable manner. Had they needed to do more I have no doubt that they would have succeeded... they just weren't working with much.

Repeat Play - $2
If it weren't for my quest to review the movies in my collection, and the need to keep up with the new additions that manage to sneak their way in (working next door to a Best Buy is a blessing and a curse) I would have watched this movie again last night. It's fun... it's funny... it has action... it has Monica. Shoot 'Em Up is just one of those movies you can enjoy no matter what kind of mood you are in or how recently you last watched it. I don't know how this has managed to fly under the radar of so many people, so my hope is that you lovely readers will give it a try and find yourself wanting to watch it again as I have.

Action and Ass-Kickery - $2
Come on people... the movie is called "Shoot 'Em Up" and it's not a porn. Of COURSE there is ample action here. I like the way they spruce it up too. You think you're just going to get a series of gun fights throughout whatever city they are in, but they they take to the skies in an absurdly awesome sequence. It makes no sense and is wholly unrealistic, but I give them points for creativity and style.

Total Rating: $9

What more do you want me to say?

Clive Owen + Guns + Helicopter Death + The Occasional Boob = WATCH IT

I started out as a math major in college people, so just trust me on this. As always, feel free to share your thoughts. See yall soon!