The Bank Job

Jason Statham you cheeky monkey, you've done it again. The Bank Job see the "Stath-man" taking on a more legitimate role and movie. Don't get me wrong... I love the Transporter series, but it is far from cinematic poetry. The Bank Job is based on a true story from the 70's in foggy London town, and if you haven't figured out what the basic premise is then do me a favor and make out with a shotgun. Statham plays Terry Leather, a small-time crook and father of two, who is given the opportunity to lead an incredibly profitable bank heist that isn't quite what it seems. MI-5 (or 6, what's the difference?) has blackmailed Martine (the film's primary hotty) into getting Terry and his rag-tag group to bust into a local bank vault and steal the riches for themselves while she sneaks out an envelope of photos that show a certain member of the royal family in acts that you can only find on Cinemax at 3 A.M. A local porn financer, brothel owner and Britain's version of Malcolm X (who is much more corrupt than the original) all get into the mix for a variety of reasons and, as I'm sure you can imagine, things get all kinds of screwy. I think that pretty much covers it, so let's move on to the review...

Original Release: 2008
Running Time: 111 minutes
(Take a gander at the rating system.)
Acting - $2
Did you know that Jason Statham can talk?? All this time I just thought he was a punching kicking mute machine. Well, I will gladly admit when I am wrong. Statham did a much better job than I expected here, but he is still only a small factor in the full funds being given here. Across the board, everyone delivered stellar performances. I don't know if the credit should be given to the actors themselves or the casting manager but sweet Jesus I thought these could have been some of the actual people. What might work to their advantage is that I haven't seen most of these actors in many movies (them being British and all) but this seriously made The Italian Job look like The Half-Assed Job.

Hello Ladies - $2
When I was first told that I should see this movie (I will keep said friend anonymous for his sake) one of the first things he said was that there are naked chicks all over the place. The ladies are two-fold here though. Martine and Terry's wife... I would both. They are both pretty hot in their own ways and they both have hot British accents. Well played ladies. Aside from the ladies who are prominent enough to actually be given names, we are blessed with the female form in several scenes of the movie. I'm pretty sure the first scene has underwater boobage, and then there's the brothel. Yeah... lots of ladies.

Action and Ass-Kickery - $1
It's not an action movie, so I can't legitimately give two dollars here. The little bit that we do have is a combination of torture tactics that made me shift in my seat (it's not graphic, don't worry) and about 5 minutes of the Statham style we've all come to know and love. The man knows how to use a brick.

Romantics - $1
I'll be honest with you folks. I don't like this category. I'm not a fan of many romantic movies and don't really seek it out in movies that have other elements to distract me. But I have to admit that I was completely drawn in to the chemistry and drama between Statham's Terry and his wife and the saucy Martine. All three players owned their roles and made me feel like there was legit shit going down.

Billicious - $2
I love British stuff. Bull dogs, Boddingtons and babes with British accents all pull a smile on this pale face. The Bank Job is chock full of everything British... because it is set there... but not in a stupid movie way. It feels very true to the location and the time with the fashion, lingo and cars so I couldn't help but enjoy myself.
Total Rating: $8

One of the reasons my collection is as... robust... as it has become, is that I like to buy cheap movies. Unless it is a new release that I know I have to own, I pretty much live off the weekly sales at Best Buy. Mere days after being told I needed to see The Bank Job, it happened to be on sale for $10, so I picked it up. After having watched it, I would have been happy to pay $15 (which is triple what I pay for most movies) and was only happier to have paid what I did. I loved this movie and look forward to watching it again soon. I don't think too many of my friends have seen it either, so I'll have to make sure to spread the fun. Go give it a whirl yourself, and let me know what you think. Later!